Happy New Year everyone! I am so pumped for this year I can't even control myself! Haha! So many good things to come in 2013 :) I rang in the new year quietly at the cottage with my daughter, my mom, my dad, and my uncle. It was nice. I kind of had some second thoughts and wondered if maybe I should have made some plans to celebrate the New Year with a party, but nah. I enjoyed my evening playing games and just chilling. I hadn't gotten on the scale since before Christmas, and New Years day fell on my normal weigh in day, but I was at the cottage again. I did however weigh myself at home the next day and it put me at 237.8lbs. Since it wasn't my regular weigh in day, I didn't actually record it (I use My Fitness Pal to record all my weigh ins and track my food, and my exercise). I was actually ok with that slight gain of 0.8lbs over the holidays. Not too shabby! I must admit though, I got really, really sick on the 27th. So sick. I woke up from a dead sleep at 4am with the urge to vomit and continued that feeling for 4 hours. It was not pleasant. I don't know if this had anything to do with the band or not, but trying to vomit was really hard. I dry heaved so much that my ribs were sore the next day. I spent the entire day sleeping (I think I was awake for a total of 3 hrs on the 27th) and feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I may have to give credit to this illness for allowing me to maintain my weight over the holidays! Owell, whatever works! LOL! But in all seriousness, I was actually a little bit worried. This was the first time I have had to throw up since having the band put in. I know my Nurse had told me that you can do damage to the band and it can slip with vomitting, but this will usually occur when someone makes it a habit (apparently some people will actually use the band as bulemic tool). However, I was still kind of nervous as my stomach took a beating with the amount of force in which I was dry heaving. The area where my port is located was physically sore. It was actually sore like a bruise when I touched it. It slowly got better though and I think that I irritated the area around the port and the band itself and it was most likely swollen as I didn't have much of an appetite or room for food for a few days. It has all since subsided though and I'm back to normal now :) Thank goodness!
This passed Saturday I decided to cheat and check out the scale. I weighed in like I normally do (naked, first thing in the morning) and it read 233.4lbs. I was pumped! But, as it wasn't my normal weigh in day again I couldn't actually record it :( haha! But, that day and Sunday, I was a bottomless pit. I felt like I needed to eat everything and anything but that nothing was satisfying me. Oh and the craving for chocolate. Oh, it was ridiculous. And then it clicked...ahhhh, it must be about that time of the month. Dammit! To me that meant the scale would not be nice on my actual weigh in day. And here I was so pumped about the 233.4 number but it was just a tease. I still had a little bit of faith though that it would be close.....and that brings me to today. This morning, my regular weigh in day, I climbed on the scale and it read.....236.4lbs. Still a loss, but not the loss I was hoping for. I literally got on and off the scale 3 times just to be sure. I was a little bit down for about 20 seconds, staring at the scale. But I talked myself out of the slight disappointment by convincing myself that it was my god damn period. Geez! I hate being a woman! LOL! All in all, I'm having some fantastic success!
I started another 30 day Challenge with some friends and family. The goal is to get in at least 10-20 minutes of exercise daily for 30 days. We switched up the rules a bit and everyone will pay an "entry" fee and for every day that you exercise, you get a ballot. That ballot will go into a draw and at the end of the challenge, we will draw a name and the winner will get a Nike Fuel band that we will have purchased with the money people paid to enter the Challenge! Pretty neat idea I think. I have 15 people in it now I think and one more pending. I've completed 2 of 2 days! Yay me! I am attempting to teach myself to run. Oh geez! I HATE running. Almost as much as I hate being a woman! LOL! Totally kidding, I love being a woman ;) The purpose of training myself to run is a few things actually.
1 - I know running burns a TON of fat. I want to kick this weight loss into high gear and attempt to get to my goal (or close to it) by May.
2 - I would love to do a triathalon. I have a few friends that have done them and have been pushing me to try one. I have no interest in straight up running for hours and hours, but the thought of doing some running, some biking and some swimming (which I LOVE) really intrigues me.
3 - THE DIRTY DONKEY MUD RUN!!! I first heard about this last year and it was very interesting to me. If you don't know what it is, it's 5K (I believe) made up of various obstacles in the mud. You run as a team and it's not about where you place, it's about challenging your body to complete it. Like I said, you run as a team and you help each other through the course and completing the obstacles together. Me and a few friends have all decided to try and do it this year. I am so PUMPED! This is something that is totally up my alley. Like I said, I could care less about running for hours and hours, alone. But this, now this would be fun and challenging. I've always been more of a team player than an individual and what better way to accomplish something! So, I NEED to train myself to run. They say you can walk it, but I want to try and be in the best shape I can be to not let my team down and have to carry me the whole way. The race is in August, but training starts in April. I want to be able to run by April, at least 3km.
So, my exercise regime over the next little while will be: Mon, Wed, Fri - running/walking the treadmill. Tues, Thurs - bootcamp. Sat - Not really sure yet. Dog walks, maybe the stationary bike. Whatever I feel like doing to complete my challenge. Sun - Volleyball. We shall see how it goes!
I took some pics today and was going to post them however, I'm having some trouble uploading them. So, that will have to wait. The minute I get it to work I will upload them. I am going to try to do a better job of updating this blog. At least weekly. Ok, if not weekly, at least every 2 weeks! haha! Have a good one everyone!
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Wednesday, 26 December 2012
Merry Christmas to All!!!
Whoa, it's been quite some time since I've written. Over 4 weeks I think. Sorry guys, the Christmas season was upon us and I was incredbily busy. Lots to write about that's for sure! Let's start back at the beginning. I weighed in on December 4th at 242lbs, a loss of 3 pounds from the previous week. Sweet ass!! As the week went on, I wasn't eating very well as all the chocolates and treats started to immerge at work. I am a total choco-holic and it's very hard for me to say no. Sooner or later, I am saying yes to every piece of chocolate and not being hungry for my real food. Band or no band, Christmas is a very hard season to get through. I made some pretty bad choices, starting with that week and carrying on until today. Not cool. I kinda can't wait for the holidays to be over and to get back to some normalcy when it comes to my diet! On another note, my daughter's 3rd birthday party was on the 8th. My ex husband and I decided to have a joint party. It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be (mostly because he didn't bring his new girlfriend to the party, thank goodness!). I got nothing but compliments from his family and friends and it did wonders for my ego and helped me get through the party.
During this week, a friend of mine forwarded me an email about a 30 day challenge of exericise that a mutual friend of ours and her family/friends were starting. The goal was to do a minimum of 10 minutes of exercise every day for 30 days. You got 1 day off, and that was Christmas day. If you missed a day, you had/have to donate $5 to a chairty of your choice. Emails fly every day with all the participants saying whether or not they completed the day and what exercise they did. I went strong for almost 2 weeks and then I missed a day. I think to this day, I am owing about $35, so 7 days missed, I think. Not bad all things considered! That's awesome for me! Some days I would be doing my exercise at 11:30 at night! But I did it! I'm thinking of starting another one with some girls from work for January. Everyone is always gung-ho for exercise and better health at the start of a new year!
Tuesday December 11th. I weighed in at 243.6lbs. A friggen gain of 1.6lbs! WTF?! OMG! This was my first gain since the start of my journey. And it DID NOT feel good. I tried to tell myself that it was probably my period again (as I had started the day before) but I knew it also had to do with the crappy way I was eating the past week too. It sucked. During this week, I actually went in and saw my Lapband nurse and had some fluid removed from my band. I was getting heartburn every single day, numerous times a day and I knew that wasn't normal. After a discussion with my nurse, we both decided that it would be a good idea to remove some. She took out 0.5mls and although I still get heartburn sometimes, it's definitely not every day like it was and I know it's when I over eat (as one does throughout the holiday season). I weighed in there and was 243lbs on her scale as well. When I told her I had actually put on 1.6lbs over the last week, she reassured me that when it comes to "that time of the month", your weight can fluctuate up to 7lbs with water weight, etc. That made me feel a bit better about the weight gain. Again, she told me I was "kicking at this" and it made me feel really good. My goal is to be one of their success stories and be one of the poeple that gets up and talks at their seminars :) Now THAT would be cool!
On the Saturday of this week, I worked at my dad's work Christmas party. Now, I have some family and friends that work with my dad and they were all there. Some of which haven't seen me in a quite some time. Again, I got tons of compliments and again it did wonders for my ego and made me feel really good. I even had one guy call me hot! Whoa! Me?! Sweeeeet! The confidence in myself and my self esteem is definitely building. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. Honestly. When people are complimenting me, I sometimes really don't know what to say. "Thanks, I'm trying" is usually my response.
Tuesday December 18th. I step on the scale hoping I shed the 1.6lbs I gained the previous week. To my pleasant surpise, the scale reads 237lbs. WTF?! OMG! Pretty much the same reaction I had when I saw the gain the week before. I'm thinking, holy shit, if this is accurate, I lost 6.6lbs this week! I got on the scale 2 more times just to be sure. Annnnd yup! 237lbs was my weight! A loss of 55lbs since August 28th. I was ecstatic. Not only did I lose a HUGE chunk of weight, I have now broken into the 230's! I think I beamed the entire day :)
However, this week also put us much closer to Christmas and so many more chocolates and treats reared their tasty little heads. I told myself that I would indulge but be careful. I didn't want to slide back and gain again. I continued with the 30 day challenge (although like I said, I bailed on a few workouts) and hoped that it would help me maintain my weight or if I were to gain again, it would be minimal. I was preparing myself for a gain with all the food that I would be eating during the holidays.
Christmas eve was spent at my cousin's with my dad's side of the family. There were about 25 of us enjoying Christmas dinner and playing Christmas games, our regular Christmas tradition. I had to leave about 7:30 to go pick up my daughter as she spent the evening with my ex and his side of the family. I got there and decided to go in as I had gifts for my nieces (they will always be my nieces). I knew my ex's girlfriend would be there and I decided to brave it and go in. I really wanted to see the family as this was my first Christmas in 10 years that I wasn't spending with them. I really wanted to wish them all a Merry Christmas and give them all hugs. Plus, I'm not going to lie, I really wanted to go in and show myself off. And boy or boy, nothing but compliments again. I had one person not even recognise me. Now that was sweet :) The whole time I was in there, I was shaking like a leaf, trying not to leap over and punch my "replacement" in the teeth. One of my ex's Aunt's went over and helped me out by chatting her up the whole time I was there so I didn't even have to look at her. I thanked her for that afterward. It really did help me to try and focus on everyone else. My nieces's opened up their gifts and I packed up my daughter and headed back to my family's party. I felt sad, relieved, strong, and confident. Although it was one of the toughest things I've done, I'm glad I went in.
After my family's party in the city, we headed out to the cottage (at 11pm at night) to wake up there on Christmas morning. It was a long day/night but waking up to the peaceful serenity that is the cottage was so worth it. We, and when I say we, it was me, my daughter, my sister, my mom, my dad, and my uncle - who came in from BC that we haven't seen in 20 years. We opened presents in the living room with the wood stove blazing and deer crossing through the yard. It was beautiful. My daughter is finally old enough to really enjoy opening presents and understanding Santa and Christmas traditions. It was so fun watching her open all her gifts. She really helped to take my mind off of the fact that although I was around my family, having a great time, it was my first Christmas without my ex. Towards the evening, I really started to feel the sadness. My sister had already left and I usually talk to her about these feelings. So I texted her, as well as a few other friends that I trust and that I know will help me get through the sadness. My sister was at work and was the first to respond and she always has a way of wording things to make me feel better. And, like a good sister, she did. :)
I have been so full over the last 3 days, more full than I've been in the last 4 months. I defintely took WAY less than I normally would have but clearly still took to much. Again, like I said, I can't wait for the holidays to be over and to get back to some normalcy and get this weight loss kicked into high gear! Vegas is calling and I think I can be very close to my goal of 173lbs by then. That would be awesome.
Christmas day should have began with a weigh in but as I was at the cottage, it did not. So, I will try to remember to weigh myself tomorrow morning. I'm not going to dwell too much on it if I have a gain. I allowed myself to go a little crazy. But, I will get back on track and continue to "kick at this" as my nurse says :)
Oh, I will post more pics soon too! Hope you all had a great Christmas!
During this week, a friend of mine forwarded me an email about a 30 day challenge of exericise that a mutual friend of ours and her family/friends were starting. The goal was to do a minimum of 10 minutes of exercise every day for 30 days. You got 1 day off, and that was Christmas day. If you missed a day, you had/have to donate $5 to a chairty of your choice. Emails fly every day with all the participants saying whether or not they completed the day and what exercise they did. I went strong for almost 2 weeks and then I missed a day. I think to this day, I am owing about $35, so 7 days missed, I think. Not bad all things considered! That's awesome for me! Some days I would be doing my exercise at 11:30 at night! But I did it! I'm thinking of starting another one with some girls from work for January. Everyone is always gung-ho for exercise and better health at the start of a new year!
Tuesday December 11th. I weighed in at 243.6lbs. A friggen gain of 1.6lbs! WTF?! OMG! This was my first gain since the start of my journey. And it DID NOT feel good. I tried to tell myself that it was probably my period again (as I had started the day before) but I knew it also had to do with the crappy way I was eating the past week too. It sucked. During this week, I actually went in and saw my Lapband nurse and had some fluid removed from my band. I was getting heartburn every single day, numerous times a day and I knew that wasn't normal. After a discussion with my nurse, we both decided that it would be a good idea to remove some. She took out 0.5mls and although I still get heartburn sometimes, it's definitely not every day like it was and I know it's when I over eat (as one does throughout the holiday season). I weighed in there and was 243lbs on her scale as well. When I told her I had actually put on 1.6lbs over the last week, she reassured me that when it comes to "that time of the month", your weight can fluctuate up to 7lbs with water weight, etc. That made me feel a bit better about the weight gain. Again, she told me I was "kicking at this" and it made me feel really good. My goal is to be one of their success stories and be one of the poeple that gets up and talks at their seminars :) Now THAT would be cool!
On the Saturday of this week, I worked at my dad's work Christmas party. Now, I have some family and friends that work with my dad and they were all there. Some of which haven't seen me in a quite some time. Again, I got tons of compliments and again it did wonders for my ego and made me feel really good. I even had one guy call me hot! Whoa! Me?! Sweeeeet! The confidence in myself and my self esteem is definitely building. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. Honestly. When people are complimenting me, I sometimes really don't know what to say. "Thanks, I'm trying" is usually my response.
Tuesday December 18th. I step on the scale hoping I shed the 1.6lbs I gained the previous week. To my pleasant surpise, the scale reads 237lbs. WTF?! OMG! Pretty much the same reaction I had when I saw the gain the week before. I'm thinking, holy shit, if this is accurate, I lost 6.6lbs this week! I got on the scale 2 more times just to be sure. Annnnd yup! 237lbs was my weight! A loss of 55lbs since August 28th. I was ecstatic. Not only did I lose a HUGE chunk of weight, I have now broken into the 230's! I think I beamed the entire day :)
However, this week also put us much closer to Christmas and so many more chocolates and treats reared their tasty little heads. I told myself that I would indulge but be careful. I didn't want to slide back and gain again. I continued with the 30 day challenge (although like I said, I bailed on a few workouts) and hoped that it would help me maintain my weight or if I were to gain again, it would be minimal. I was preparing myself for a gain with all the food that I would be eating during the holidays.
Christmas eve was spent at my cousin's with my dad's side of the family. There were about 25 of us enjoying Christmas dinner and playing Christmas games, our regular Christmas tradition. I had to leave about 7:30 to go pick up my daughter as she spent the evening with my ex and his side of the family. I got there and decided to go in as I had gifts for my nieces (they will always be my nieces). I knew my ex's girlfriend would be there and I decided to brave it and go in. I really wanted to see the family as this was my first Christmas in 10 years that I wasn't spending with them. I really wanted to wish them all a Merry Christmas and give them all hugs. Plus, I'm not going to lie, I really wanted to go in and show myself off. And boy or boy, nothing but compliments again. I had one person not even recognise me. Now that was sweet :) The whole time I was in there, I was shaking like a leaf, trying not to leap over and punch my "replacement" in the teeth. One of my ex's Aunt's went over and helped me out by chatting her up the whole time I was there so I didn't even have to look at her. I thanked her for that afterward. It really did help me to try and focus on everyone else. My nieces's opened up their gifts and I packed up my daughter and headed back to my family's party. I felt sad, relieved, strong, and confident. Although it was one of the toughest things I've done, I'm glad I went in.
After my family's party in the city, we headed out to the cottage (at 11pm at night) to wake up there on Christmas morning. It was a long day/night but waking up to the peaceful serenity that is the cottage was so worth it. We, and when I say we, it was me, my daughter, my sister, my mom, my dad, and my uncle - who came in from BC that we haven't seen in 20 years. We opened presents in the living room with the wood stove blazing and deer crossing through the yard. It was beautiful. My daughter is finally old enough to really enjoy opening presents and understanding Santa and Christmas traditions. It was so fun watching her open all her gifts. She really helped to take my mind off of the fact that although I was around my family, having a great time, it was my first Christmas without my ex. Towards the evening, I really started to feel the sadness. My sister had already left and I usually talk to her about these feelings. So I texted her, as well as a few other friends that I trust and that I know will help me get through the sadness. My sister was at work and was the first to respond and she always has a way of wording things to make me feel better. And, like a good sister, she did. :)
I have been so full over the last 3 days, more full than I've been in the last 4 months. I defintely took WAY less than I normally would have but clearly still took to much. Again, like I said, I can't wait for the holidays to be over and to get back to some normalcy and get this weight loss kicked into high gear! Vegas is calling and I think I can be very close to my goal of 173lbs by then. That would be awesome.
Christmas day should have began with a weigh in but as I was at the cottage, it did not. So, I will try to remember to weigh myself tomorrow morning. I'm not going to dwell too much on it if I have a gain. I allowed myself to go a little crazy. But, I will get back on track and continue to "kick at this" as my nurse says :)
Oh, I will post more pics soon too! Hope you all had a great Christmas!
Wednesday, 28 November 2012
Down to 245lbs, 25lbs to my next goal. It's so close.
Well, it's been a couple weeks. Last week Tuesday I weighed in and only lost 1lb. It seems as though that is my pattern. It was my "monthly gift" week and for the last 2 months, I seem to only lose 1lb during that week. Which, I shouldn't really complain. It's still a loss. But when you are used to seeing a 3-4lbs loss on the scale, 1 just seems so small. During that week, I also didn't eat as well. And it's very evident to me. But, I am happy that it tends to only be that one week and I get right back on track, like I have this week. This passed Tuesday I was down 2 more pounds bringing me to a weight of 245lbs. FANTASTIC! I'm so pumped. I use My Fitness Pal to log in my calories and exercise, etc. When I updated my weight to say 245lbs, it told me I had lost 70lbs total. OMG! 70lbs! That's the size of a child, a large child! Keep in mind, that's 70lbs since I was at my heaviest weight of 315lbs, pregnant with my daughter. Which was exactly 3 years ago. Wow. As for loss from when I started this journey, I'm down a total of 47lbs since August 28th.
This current weight also puts me closer to my next goal of 220lbs. The weight I was when I met my ex-husband 10 years ago. I am already feeling so much better about myself physically and emotionally in regards to my weight and I'm finally feeling like I'm in a good place emotionally in regards to my split from my ex. I truly feel that once I hit that 220lb mark, I will really feel like I can start over. Like those passed 10 years of being unhappy with myself and my body can be wiped away. I'm only 25lbs away. So close it's ridiculous.
A couple of things I've noticed about myself over the last few weeks that I want to document. They are such little victories but victories that help me realize how far I've come. I may have mentioned this one before, but I am now able to sit cross legged. Which I was not able to do at my heaviest. I am also able to sit cross legged without having to lean against a wall for support. Which I had to do when I started losing weight after I had my daughter. And finally, I can now sit cross legged without my legs immediately falling asleep. I love it.
Next, is something that I think a lot of people take for granted, and that's the ability to clip your toenails. haha. Sounds so simple. Yet when you have a huge belly in your way, it becomes incredibly difficult. Don't get me wrong, I still have the belly, but it's not nearly as big anymore and I can actually clip my toenails without struggling.
I've also noticed that I don't sweat nearly as much anymore doing the simpliest things. I've always been a sweater, so is my dad, it's in my genes. But, I'd always use it as an excuse. So what if I sweat walking up the stairs or playing with my daughter or my dogs, or doing dishes, or cooking or folding laundry, I'm a sweater, it's just me. But, over these last few weeks, I've really noticed how little I sweat now (little for me is probably still a lot for "normal" people! haha) and it's so much nicer. I used to avoid wearing my glasses because they would fog up all the time when I sweat. Well, I got new glasses and I can show them off a lot more now because I don't sweat nearly as much!
We have some chairs at the cottage that my butt did not fit into in the summer. It would actually hurt for me to sit in them because the metal arm rest would push on my hips. Well, I went to the cottage this passed weekend and voila! I fit in the chair without a problem! It felt awesome not having the bruises from the chair!
I work in a lab so I am always wearing gloves. I never thought you could lose weight in your hands...but you can! I am now a small size glove! WHAT?! Yup! The mediums are too loose and I've had to switch! I also lost weight in my feet. I can tell because the dressy shoes I wore last year, that would cut off the circulation in my feet and my feet would ache for days after, fit perfectly now. I can dance in them for hours and my feet don't hurt at all. :)
At bootcamp yesterday morning, my instructor asked me to try doing my walking lunges as low as possible. To try and get my knee as close to the ground as possible. I could barely even bend my legs before and yesterday, my knee literally tapped the ground with each lunge. It felt awesome. It was friggen hard as heck, but I did it. And I'm paying for it today :)
My parents are taking my sister and I to Vegas at the end of May next year. I am so excited for this I have no words. My girlfriend gave me a bunch of clothes that she no longer wanted, size XL. I'm so pumped and motivated to fit into these clothes for this trip. I have 6 months, I know I will get there.
I've been looking at myself in the mirror a lot. I know a lot of people have a hard time when they lose weight not seeing the fat person they were all the time. I still see the fat person, but I'm not completely disgusted with my reflection anymore. I can see that the fat person is getting smaller, getting happier, and feeling so much better about herself. And it feels great.
This current weight also puts me closer to my next goal of 220lbs. The weight I was when I met my ex-husband 10 years ago. I am already feeling so much better about myself physically and emotionally in regards to my weight and I'm finally feeling like I'm in a good place emotionally in regards to my split from my ex. I truly feel that once I hit that 220lb mark, I will really feel like I can start over. Like those passed 10 years of being unhappy with myself and my body can be wiped away. I'm only 25lbs away. So close it's ridiculous.
A couple of things I've noticed about myself over the last few weeks that I want to document. They are such little victories but victories that help me realize how far I've come. I may have mentioned this one before, but I am now able to sit cross legged. Which I was not able to do at my heaviest. I am also able to sit cross legged without having to lean against a wall for support. Which I had to do when I started losing weight after I had my daughter. And finally, I can now sit cross legged without my legs immediately falling asleep. I love it.
Next, is something that I think a lot of people take for granted, and that's the ability to clip your toenails. haha. Sounds so simple. Yet when you have a huge belly in your way, it becomes incredibly difficult. Don't get me wrong, I still have the belly, but it's not nearly as big anymore and I can actually clip my toenails without struggling.
I've also noticed that I don't sweat nearly as much anymore doing the simpliest things. I've always been a sweater, so is my dad, it's in my genes. But, I'd always use it as an excuse. So what if I sweat walking up the stairs or playing with my daughter or my dogs, or doing dishes, or cooking or folding laundry, I'm a sweater, it's just me. But, over these last few weeks, I've really noticed how little I sweat now (little for me is probably still a lot for "normal" people! haha) and it's so much nicer. I used to avoid wearing my glasses because they would fog up all the time when I sweat. Well, I got new glasses and I can show them off a lot more now because I don't sweat nearly as much!
We have some chairs at the cottage that my butt did not fit into in the summer. It would actually hurt for me to sit in them because the metal arm rest would push on my hips. Well, I went to the cottage this passed weekend and voila! I fit in the chair without a problem! It felt awesome not having the bruises from the chair!
I work in a lab so I am always wearing gloves. I never thought you could lose weight in your hands...but you can! I am now a small size glove! WHAT?! Yup! The mediums are too loose and I've had to switch! I also lost weight in my feet. I can tell because the dressy shoes I wore last year, that would cut off the circulation in my feet and my feet would ache for days after, fit perfectly now. I can dance in them for hours and my feet don't hurt at all. :)
At bootcamp yesterday morning, my instructor asked me to try doing my walking lunges as low as possible. To try and get my knee as close to the ground as possible. I could barely even bend my legs before and yesterday, my knee literally tapped the ground with each lunge. It felt awesome. It was friggen hard as heck, but I did it. And I'm paying for it today :)
My parents are taking my sister and I to Vegas at the end of May next year. I am so excited for this I have no words. My girlfriend gave me a bunch of clothes that she no longer wanted, size XL. I'm so pumped and motivated to fit into these clothes for this trip. I have 6 months, I know I will get there.
I've been looking at myself in the mirror a lot. I know a lot of people have a hard time when they lose weight not seeing the fat person they were all the time. I still see the fat person, but I'm not completely disgusted with my reflection anymore. I can see that the fat person is getting smaller, getting happier, and feeling so much better about herself. And it feels great.
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
OMG!! I FINALLY DID IT!!! (9 weeks post surgery)
OMG, I finally did it. I reached my first big milestone. This passed Tuesday, I weighed in at 248lbs! I broke into the 240's! I'm now in the first half of the 200's!! Never to see 250 on the scale AGAIN! I'm so pumped it's ridiculous. Like I said in my last post, I do nothing but smile. I'm so excited about this. 248lbs.....248lbs.......ridiculous.
Here are some updated pics....2 weeks before surgery, 4 weeks, and 9 weeks post surgery.
I got in a really good workout on Tuesday morning at bootcamp. My quads are so incredibly painful that it hurts to go down stairs, sit on the toilet, and even touch them! haha! I haven't felt this sore since I first started bootcamp almost 2 years ago! But, in my defence, I did 102 weighted walking lunges, 36 squats and 40 Mountain climbers. My legs were toast! It sucked being away for so long!
I've really wanted to start doing cardio on my non bootcamp days. So tonight, my sister and I worked out for about 45 minutes. She did the eliptical and some weights and I walked/jogged on the treadmill. (Yes. I said jog. WTF?! HAHA) I would walk for a few minutes, than jog for a minute and a half, than walk, than jog. I jogged for a total of 10 minutes in that 35 minute session. It was awesome. Then we finished it off with an ab set. I thought that would loosen up the legs and make them less stiff....WRONG! haha! They are soooo stiff. But I LOVE IT!
Anyway, that's it for today. Big big milestone achieved and I am so happy. I can't wait to get to my next goal (220lbs). It doesn't seem so far away now :) Only 28 more lbs to go!
Here are some updated pics....2 weeks before surgery, 4 weeks, and 9 weeks post surgery.
And the final batch, where I can see the most difference.....I need a new bra! haha!
Anyway, I'll stop gloating now :) This week has been going really good. The pain and "stuck" feeling of the food going down has slowed down a lot. I'm way more conscious of how much I'm eating and how fast. I still have some heartburn and not sure why. It's also slowed down significantly, but it's still there. I'm not too worried anymore though. As for eating, I've gotten back on track. Trying to eat protein with every meal and eating it first, trying to have veggies with every meal and eating it second, and saving the carb for last. I'm eating off smaller plates and that little trick actually does work. Because the little plate looks so full, you don't feel like your eating such a small amount. I am having a mad craving for pop though. I really miss the bubbles. Never thought THAT would be the thing I miss the most. I haven't had a pop in 11 weeks. I was a 1 pop a day gal, minimum. They were the Coke Zero's or Pepsi Max drinks, never full calorie, but still. I miss it. I'm worried that if I give in and have a little taste, that it will make me want/crave more. And I can't do that. Not only is pop bad for you regardless of whether it's diet or not, the bubbles aren't good for the band. I have to keep telling myself that. I know a little bit here and there won't hurt, but I'm thinking it will turn into an every day love affair again and I can't risk the health of the band for that.....it's really hard.
I got in a really good workout on Tuesday morning at bootcamp. My quads are so incredibly painful that it hurts to go down stairs, sit on the toilet, and even touch them! haha! I haven't felt this sore since I first started bootcamp almost 2 years ago! But, in my defence, I did 102 weighted walking lunges, 36 squats and 40 Mountain climbers. My legs were toast! It sucked being away for so long!
I've really wanted to start doing cardio on my non bootcamp days. So tonight, my sister and I worked out for about 45 minutes. She did the eliptical and some weights and I walked/jogged on the treadmill. (Yes. I said jog. WTF?! HAHA) I would walk for a few minutes, than jog for a minute and a half, than walk, than jog. I jogged for a total of 10 minutes in that 35 minute session. It was awesome. Then we finished it off with an ab set. I thought that would loosen up the legs and make them less stiff....WRONG! haha! They are soooo stiff. But I LOVE IT!
Anyway, that's it for today. Big big milestone achieved and I am so happy. I can't wait to get to my next goal (220lbs). It doesn't seem so far away now :) Only 28 more lbs to go!
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Wow! Already 8 weeks post surgery!
Well, here I am. 8 weeks and 2 days post surgery. I have to say, I'm feeling pretty damn fantastic :) I have been getting more and more compliments these days. Actually, just a few days ago, I had 4 different people tell me how much they can see the weight loss in my face. All I can do is say thank you and smile. Deep down I want to jump up and down and hug each one of em! I seriously makes me beam with excitement.
I had my first fill back on the 26th of October. That was an interesting experience. My nurse and I chatted for about 20 minutes about how things have been going for me, how I've been eating, etc. And things were/are going great. Haven't had many instances where I felt like choking/vomittin, haven't had any heartburn, etc. I was down to 257.6lbs according to my scale that previous Tuesday and when I got on her scale, it said the exact same thing. So, I was officially down 34.4lbs that week. Awesome! Terri said I was "kicking this!" That felt fantastic! haha! So, based on what I was telling her and how I was feeling, Terri was convinced that I already had a good 2-3mls in my band so she decided to only add 1 more ml. I laid on the bed, and she asked if I wanted a little numbing cream. Nah I said, it's just a little poke. So, I laid there while she felt around my largest incision to find the access port. I had to elevate my head slightly to flex my muscle to pop it up. And voila! There it was. She commented to me twice that I had really good muscle (that made me feel awesome!). So, she placed her fingers on my skin, at either edge of the port and put the needle in. That was actually no problem, felt like any other needle you might get when you need to give blood. But then, she had to make sure she was in so she had to fish around for a little bit. Sounds worse than it actually was. She talked to me the whole time and told me everything she was doing. Then, she was in the right spot and she injected the 1ml. No problem. But then, she withdraws on the plunger of the syringe to see how much fluid total was now in the band. As she was pulling back, that was the weirdest feeling ever. I could almost feel my stomach relaxing. So weird. When she got all the fluid into the syringe, it confirmed what she had thought. I already had 3mls in there, now with this additional ml, I now have 4mls in my band. Then she had to remove the needle. That by far was the most uncomfortable part of the whole process. It hurt. Quite a bit. But then it was done. I held some gauze on the little wee hole and sat up. No problem. We went back to the office and she showed me the model of the band and the port and she actually let me pretend to inject into it. It is much harder than that of say an IV port on IV fluids. No wonder it hurt coming out. You have to use a lot of force! I was to stay on liquids for the next 12 hours, than slowly work my way back to solids over the next 48 hours.
Since my appointment was at 4:30pm that night, I got home and didn't need to eat anything. I drank some water throughout the evening but that was it. Then, Saturday rolled around and I was out and about all day, barely had time to eat anyway. I think I had something small, that was a solid food, and it seemed to go down fine. Woo hoo! Success! That evening, I went to a Halloween social and drank vodka and light cranberry juice and water. It was very very tasty, and I got a little drunk. Ok, a lot drunk. haha. But I had a fantastic time dancing the night away. I really felt good about myself that night, I felt I looked really good in my costume too. The next day when all the pictures came out, I got nothing but compliments on how good I looked. I felt good, really really good.
By the Sunday I was back to solids but I was (and still) having a hard time remembering to take small bites and chew, chew, chew my food. Over the next week and a half until today, I have had numerous episodes where I've taken on too big a piece of food and haven't chewed it well enough and it has gotten stuck. Not a cool feeling. I'm still working on it. I've also had quite a bit of heartburn over the last week and a half. I think it's from ingesting too much food. You wouldn't think an extra ml of fluid would have such a big impact, but it sure does! So, I'm reminded often to slow down, take small bites, chew my food to mush, and eat small amounts. I'm going to give it another 2 weeks to see if I can get used to it. If I can't, and I'm still struggling, I might have to ask to take some of it out. I don't want to do that, but I may have to if I can't get a hold of this. The perfect band fluid amount should cause no pain, pressure or discomfort when eating. And I sometimes have all 3 of these. So, I need to work on it. Is it just me, or is it too much? I have to figure this out.
As for weight loss, last week, October 30th, I weighed in at 252.6! That was a loss of 5lbs from the week before! Woo hoo! Wholy crap!
This week, however was a bit of a different story, I weighed in on November 6th with a weight of 251.8, a loss of only 0.8lbs. But, it's still a loss! I am now officially down 40.2lbs in the last 10 weeks!
I know last week I wasn't doing good. I wasn't eating appropriately (ie: protein with every meal, protein first, etc). So, I've smartened up and am hoping to have a good number on that scale this coming Tuesday. I can't wait to be in the 240's! That was one of my first goals. To be under 250, in the bottom half of the 200's! So pumped! I got on the scale this morning, cheatin because weigh in day isn't until Tuesday, and the scale said 249.6. OMG! I may make it there with this week's weigh in!
Oh, more news! I started bootcamp this passed Tuesday (finally! I was so sick the week before and couldn't start when I wanted too.). I can definitely tell I've been away from it for a while, but the next day, I loved that feeling of sore muscles! I can't wait to go again. However, it won't be this week (bootcamp is Tuesdays and Fridays). I got 2 new tattoos on Tuesday! Woo hoo! So, it is recommended to stay away from working out for at least 1 week. So, back at er on Tuesday!
My tattoos rock! I got my daughter's name on my forearm "Rylee" and my sister and I got matching script saying "Always my Sister, Forever my Friend". Mine on my foot, and hers on her forearm. They are awesome. The foot hurt like nobody's business!
These days I've been feeling really good about myself and I seem to be more confident and happy. And I like it :) I like it a lot.
I had my first fill back on the 26th of October. That was an interesting experience. My nurse and I chatted for about 20 minutes about how things have been going for me, how I've been eating, etc. And things were/are going great. Haven't had many instances where I felt like choking/vomittin, haven't had any heartburn, etc. I was down to 257.6lbs according to my scale that previous Tuesday and when I got on her scale, it said the exact same thing. So, I was officially down 34.4lbs that week. Awesome! Terri said I was "kicking this!" That felt fantastic! haha! So, based on what I was telling her and how I was feeling, Terri was convinced that I already had a good 2-3mls in my band so she decided to only add 1 more ml. I laid on the bed, and she asked if I wanted a little numbing cream. Nah I said, it's just a little poke. So, I laid there while she felt around my largest incision to find the access port. I had to elevate my head slightly to flex my muscle to pop it up. And voila! There it was. She commented to me twice that I had really good muscle (that made me feel awesome!). So, she placed her fingers on my skin, at either edge of the port and put the needle in. That was actually no problem, felt like any other needle you might get when you need to give blood. But then, she had to make sure she was in so she had to fish around for a little bit. Sounds worse than it actually was. She talked to me the whole time and told me everything she was doing. Then, she was in the right spot and she injected the 1ml. No problem. But then, she withdraws on the plunger of the syringe to see how much fluid total was now in the band. As she was pulling back, that was the weirdest feeling ever. I could almost feel my stomach relaxing. So weird. When she got all the fluid into the syringe, it confirmed what she had thought. I already had 3mls in there, now with this additional ml, I now have 4mls in my band. Then she had to remove the needle. That by far was the most uncomfortable part of the whole process. It hurt. Quite a bit. But then it was done. I held some gauze on the little wee hole and sat up. No problem. We went back to the office and she showed me the model of the band and the port and she actually let me pretend to inject into it. It is much harder than that of say an IV port on IV fluids. No wonder it hurt coming out. You have to use a lot of force! I was to stay on liquids for the next 12 hours, than slowly work my way back to solids over the next 48 hours.
Since my appointment was at 4:30pm that night, I got home and didn't need to eat anything. I drank some water throughout the evening but that was it. Then, Saturday rolled around and I was out and about all day, barely had time to eat anyway. I think I had something small, that was a solid food, and it seemed to go down fine. Woo hoo! Success! That evening, I went to a Halloween social and drank vodka and light cranberry juice and water. It was very very tasty, and I got a little drunk. Ok, a lot drunk. haha. But I had a fantastic time dancing the night away. I really felt good about myself that night, I felt I looked really good in my costume too. The next day when all the pictures came out, I got nothing but compliments on how good I looked. I felt good, really really good.
By the Sunday I was back to solids but I was (and still) having a hard time remembering to take small bites and chew, chew, chew my food. Over the next week and a half until today, I have had numerous episodes where I've taken on too big a piece of food and haven't chewed it well enough and it has gotten stuck. Not a cool feeling. I'm still working on it. I've also had quite a bit of heartburn over the last week and a half. I think it's from ingesting too much food. You wouldn't think an extra ml of fluid would have such a big impact, but it sure does! So, I'm reminded often to slow down, take small bites, chew my food to mush, and eat small amounts. I'm going to give it another 2 weeks to see if I can get used to it. If I can't, and I'm still struggling, I might have to ask to take some of it out. I don't want to do that, but I may have to if I can't get a hold of this. The perfect band fluid amount should cause no pain, pressure or discomfort when eating. And I sometimes have all 3 of these. So, I need to work on it. Is it just me, or is it too much? I have to figure this out.
As for weight loss, last week, October 30th, I weighed in at 252.6! That was a loss of 5lbs from the week before! Woo hoo! Wholy crap!
This week, however was a bit of a different story, I weighed in on November 6th with a weight of 251.8, a loss of only 0.8lbs. But, it's still a loss! I am now officially down 40.2lbs in the last 10 weeks!
I know last week I wasn't doing good. I wasn't eating appropriately (ie: protein with every meal, protein first, etc). So, I've smartened up and am hoping to have a good number on that scale this coming Tuesday. I can't wait to be in the 240's! That was one of my first goals. To be under 250, in the bottom half of the 200's! So pumped! I got on the scale this morning, cheatin because weigh in day isn't until Tuesday, and the scale said 249.6. OMG! I may make it there with this week's weigh in!
Oh, more news! I started bootcamp this passed Tuesday (finally! I was so sick the week before and couldn't start when I wanted too.). I can definitely tell I've been away from it for a while, but the next day, I loved that feeling of sore muscles! I can't wait to go again. However, it won't be this week (bootcamp is Tuesdays and Fridays). I got 2 new tattoos on Tuesday! Woo hoo! So, it is recommended to stay away from working out for at least 1 week. So, back at er on Tuesday!
My tattoos rock! I got my daughter's name on my forearm "Rylee" and my sister and I got matching script saying "Always my Sister, Forever my Friend". Mine on my foot, and hers on her forearm. They are awesome. The foot hurt like nobody's business! 
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
6 weeks Post Surgery
Whoa, whoa, whoa!! So I missed last week....got a little busy! Whoops! Definitely time for an update! Let's start with this. I'm down a total of 34.4lbs in these last 8 weeks. That's an average of 4.3lbs a week!! I did the math, and if I continue on this streak, I will be 219 by Christmas!! OMG! That is my first really big goal, 220lbs. It's the weight I was when I met my husband (ex) 10 years ago. I'm super pumped. My clothes are getting so loose and baggy. I actually bought a hoody sweater this past week, and it was a LARGE! I have not fit into a large anything in years! It's a very generous mens fit, but still, a LARGE! I did a little happy dance in the store. It was an incredible feeling. I definitely have to do some shopping!! I don't want to spend too much cash though as my size is going to continue to go down, but I don't want to look frumpy either. So, a shopping trip is definitely in order. I'm goin to try to hit up some thrift stores and see if I can save a buck or two.
My sister and I also went out shopping for Halloween costumes last week. I tried on a couple plus size costumes, which, as many people know, are not really true plus sizes. Apparently, a 2X is a size 14-18 (yah right!) and a 3X is an 18-20 (yah right again!). However, I am proud to say, that I fit the 3X (size 18-20)! I am heading out to a Halloween social dressed as a "sexy wolf". First time in my life I'm heading out as a sexy anything! haha! I feel great in the costume, and it fits perfectly. Have a look!
My sister is going as Little Red Riding Hood so we are a theme. It's hard to see, but I have ears on the hood and a tail and fluffy cuffs. It's gonna be so fun! Another fun note, I bought some tights to wear with this costume as you can see. (I feel good, but not good enough to go bare legged yet! haha!) I went to walmart and actually fit into their brand of workout gear. I have never been able to fit their gear! These tights fit perfectly, like they are supposed too! Again, super pumped!
As for my recovery from surgery, I have to say I am 90% healed. I've played volleyball for the last 2 Sunday's and felt fantastic! After the first game, I was very sore, especially my abs, but they recovered pretty quick. It felt great to be back on the court. The next session of bootcamp at my work starts next week and I'm so excited to get back into that too. Can't wait to firm up!
This past weekend, I have to say I did feel like a bottomless pit in regards to eating. Saturday evening was a night filled with not so good for you food like pizza (first time having real pizza in at least 2 months), kolbassa, cheese, pickles, spring rolls, steak kabobs, and nachos. Over the course of about 7 hours, I ate 2 slices of pizza, at least 8-10 pieces of kolbassa, cheese, and pickles, probably about 5 spring rolls, a steak kabob, and a hunk of nachos. All in all I guess it wasn't all that much food for the 7 hours, but it was not "healthy" food by any means. I didn't feel like I had a signal to tell me I was full. And I didn't like that. But, Sunday night, I realized why I felt that way. I began my monthly gift (whoopie!). I spoke to someone else who had this surgery and they said they feel the same way around the same time each month. Fantastic. Thank goodness it was short lived! By Monday, I was back to normal. Well, my new normal :)
This Friday I get my first fill. So this hunger I've been feeling over the last few weeks should subside. It's still very much a mental game. Having to use your brains to choose good food over bad food. The advantage I have now though, is that I can't physically eat as much food, even if I do choose the bad food. So far things have been going good (other than this weekend) and I can see the progress on the scale. Every time I get on the scale, I smile. I must admit, after this weekend, I was prepared for no loss on the scale. But, I stepped on with my eyes closed, and when I opened them, I was still down 2 lbs. So excited.
My therapist and I "broke up" this passed Friday. We talked about my progress in regards to my weight and how good I've been feeling about me. We also talked about my issues in regards to my ex. I've been doing fantastic in all aspects. Right now, my focus is on trying to forgive. Sometimes I feel like I'm there, but yet I still have those days where I want to punch him. haha. It will still take some time, but I must admit, I've been feeling really good about things. I realized that this passed weekend was the first weekend I didn't think about him or his girlfriend, and I had a great weekend because of it :)
All in all, these last 2 weeks have seen some great progress in all aspects. I think I am becoming a happier person as each day passes. Back to the Happy Go Lucky person that I've always been. I am now looking forward to my future with excitement and not sadness. I can't wait to see what happens :)
My sister and I also went out shopping for Halloween costumes last week. I tried on a couple plus size costumes, which, as many people know, are not really true plus sizes. Apparently, a 2X is a size 14-18 (yah right!) and a 3X is an 18-20 (yah right again!). However, I am proud to say, that I fit the 3X (size 18-20)! I am heading out to a Halloween social dressed as a "sexy wolf". First time in my life I'm heading out as a sexy anything! haha! I feel great in the costume, and it fits perfectly. Have a look!
My sister is going as Little Red Riding Hood so we are a theme. It's hard to see, but I have ears on the hood and a tail and fluffy cuffs. It's gonna be so fun! Another fun note, I bought some tights to wear with this costume as you can see. (I feel good, but not good enough to go bare legged yet! haha!) I went to walmart and actually fit into their brand of workout gear. I have never been able to fit their gear! These tights fit perfectly, like they are supposed too! Again, super pumped!
As for my recovery from surgery, I have to say I am 90% healed. I've played volleyball for the last 2 Sunday's and felt fantastic! After the first game, I was very sore, especially my abs, but they recovered pretty quick. It felt great to be back on the court. The next session of bootcamp at my work starts next week and I'm so excited to get back into that too. Can't wait to firm up!
This past weekend, I have to say I did feel like a bottomless pit in regards to eating. Saturday evening was a night filled with not so good for you food like pizza (first time having real pizza in at least 2 months), kolbassa, cheese, pickles, spring rolls, steak kabobs, and nachos. Over the course of about 7 hours, I ate 2 slices of pizza, at least 8-10 pieces of kolbassa, cheese, and pickles, probably about 5 spring rolls, a steak kabob, and a hunk of nachos. All in all I guess it wasn't all that much food for the 7 hours, but it was not "healthy" food by any means. I didn't feel like I had a signal to tell me I was full. And I didn't like that. But, Sunday night, I realized why I felt that way. I began my monthly gift (whoopie!). I spoke to someone else who had this surgery and they said they feel the same way around the same time each month. Fantastic. Thank goodness it was short lived! By Monday, I was back to normal. Well, my new normal :)
This Friday I get my first fill. So this hunger I've been feeling over the last few weeks should subside. It's still very much a mental game. Having to use your brains to choose good food over bad food. The advantage I have now though, is that I can't physically eat as much food, even if I do choose the bad food. So far things have been going good (other than this weekend) and I can see the progress on the scale. Every time I get on the scale, I smile. I must admit, after this weekend, I was prepared for no loss on the scale. But, I stepped on with my eyes closed, and when I opened them, I was still down 2 lbs. So excited.
My therapist and I "broke up" this passed Friday. We talked about my progress in regards to my weight and how good I've been feeling about me. We also talked about my issues in regards to my ex. I've been doing fantastic in all aspects. Right now, my focus is on trying to forgive. Sometimes I feel like I'm there, but yet I still have those days where I want to punch him. haha. It will still take some time, but I must admit, I've been feeling really good about things. I realized that this passed weekend was the first weekend I didn't think about him or his girlfriend, and I had a great weekend because of it :)
All in all, these last 2 weeks have seen some great progress in all aspects. I think I am becoming a happier person as each day passes. Back to the Happy Go Lucky person that I've always been. I am now looking forward to my future with excitement and not sadness. I can't wait to see what happens :)
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
My mistake....
As my sister pointed out, I actually went skydiving in 2003!! Thats 9 years ago that I remember being 260lbs! Wow! I don't even ever remember being 250, 240....I've erased those weights from my memory. Now, I can't wait to reach them again! Total weight lost so far, 28.6lbs.
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