A Year Has Come and Gone.....

Well folks, a year has come and gone and what a year it's been.  My last update was back at the end of April, almost 6 months ago. I apologize for that but Vegas hit, baseball season hit, summer hit, and now we are into fall and so much more has happened. It's been hard to find a couple of hours to be able to sit down and update. But, I'm here now, I have the time, so here goes: 

My vacation to Las Vegas was amazing. It is definitely THE BEST place to celebrate a divorce and new beginnings :) I'm not going to share too much of the trip because you know how the saying goes, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" but I will tell you a few things :) 

First off, my confidence level was off the charts and it all started as we got onto the plane. We found our seats and proceeded to get comfy and buckle up. For me, the moment of truth was about to surface because for the last number of years, anytime I got on a plane, I had to ask for a seat belt extender. I was too big to fit in the manufactured seat belt and required more room. The first time this happened, about 7 or 8 years ago, it was devastating. It shot any amount of self esteem I may have had out the plane window.

Well, like I said, the moment of truth was coming down as I settled myself into my seat. I grabbed the seat belt and attempted to buckle it up.....

Holy crap! I was not only able to do it up, but I had to actually cinch it up to tighten it. It was incredible. Honestly. All my confidence and self esteem came flooding back in that moment. It was amazing. 

The entire trip I was boasting with confidence and it felt great. Although it started with the plane ride over, a few other things happened that would have been way different had I been the heavier me:

1 - Walking, walking and more walking. Oh my goodness did we walk a lot. As one does in Vegas. But man, until you're there, you really don't realize how much you actually walk. We were there for 11 days and I'd say it was at least 3-4 hours a day of walking and then some. I ended up developing a pretty bad shin splint actually because I did most of it in flip flops. Yah, not such a smart idea.....but I pushed through! Limping and swollen and painful, but I pushed through. I don't think I would have been able to handle all the walking as the heavier me and I would have had many more side effects other than the shin splint like a sore back, sore feet, sore legs, chaffing, etc.   

2 - Minimal sweating. And let me tell you, it was HOT! Of course I did sweat, especially when it reached 109 degrees Fahrenheit, which is 42.7 degrees Celsius! But I was able to wear my hair down and straightened most days without ruining it with sweat (of course bar nights don't count when you're dancing up a storm!) My hair used to always require being tied back due to how much I sweat. Not any more. It was fantastic!  

3 - No chaffing!!! OMG! This has got to be one of the best things ever! When I went to Mexico and Jamaica, I chaffed so bad at my bra line and between my legs that I had a hard time walking. My skin was so raw. In fact I used to have a permanent scar at my bra line from constant chaffing during ball tournaments. This year, none. Not one single episode of chaffing during Vegas, ball or anything else. It's something you don't really think about until you have it really bad. And it just crossed my mind as I'm writing this about how I have NOT had it at all this year and it's awesome! 

It was a really good trip. A really really good trip. Definitely needed and I would go back in a heartbeat :)

Made it!

Fam Jam picture! Love you guys! Thanks for the memories! 

Now onto the summer. Ahhh, the summer. Filled with tons of baseball, which I absolutely LOVE! And tons of ICE CREAM! I honestly don't know which I love more!

First off, baseball. With the weight loss comes a faster more efficient Shannon! Finally hit a legit home run as well as what should have been a grand slam (Long story, haha!)! As the heavier me, even if I smoked the ball I would only get a double. Now, I can not only run the bases faster, but I recover a lot faster after running those bases and I'm ready to hit the field again shortly after. It's awesome. I played on a coed team and a women's team in a coed division. My women's team kicked ass! Love all the ladies and can't wait 'till next year where I hope to be another 50lbs lighter!

And now, ice cream. Ohhhhh ice cream. You are the devil. You have been my Achilles Heel all summer long and I NEED to break up with you. Not going to lie, things have been rough for me diet wise. Band or no band, the summer is tough. Especially for someone like me who absolutely loves ice cream. I'm pretty sure I had it at least twice a week, sometimes 3-4 times a week. I would just crave it. I started with just getting a mini blizzard just to have the taste. Then it turned into a small. Then a medium. Usually half way through the medium I'd get full and bloated but I couldn't let the deliciousness that is a blizzard go to waste. Oh no, I can't do that. So I'd finish it. I'd feel incredibly full and bloated and not happy about myself. This, my friends, is a glimpse into the old Shannon. A sneak peek as to how she gained over a 100lbs in the last 10 years.

Of course ice cream wasn't my only problem. I DID NOT eat well at all over the summer. Snacking on chips and chocolate, not eating enough protein, not eating the right portion sizes, not eating s-l-o-w-l-y, not chewing my food into teenie tiny little pieces, having my food get stuck more times than I can count and having to throw up the stuck food many many times. Not good. I am NOT proud of myself. The only thing I am happy about is the fact that my weight hasn't gone up because of all of this. I seem to gain and lose the same 3-5bs every week with 220lbs being the median. I can only attribute that to my constant boot-camping. I have maintained a constant regime of going to boot camp twice a week (with a break here and there while on holidays over the summer). It has been my saving grace. I absolutely love my trainer and she pushes us when she knows we can get into a lower squat or do one more pushup. She's awesome. My girlfriend and I got headbands made especially for her:

"My trainer is trying to kill me!" 

 
Now although I was doing boot camp, that is all I was doing for work outs over the summer (other than baseball). My running came to a screeching halt when ball season kicked in. This was very disappointing to me but I just lost that oomph to get on the treadmill or get outside to try and run. This was also very sad as I was still gearing up to run the Dirty Donkey Mud Run in August. I had been training myself to run since the beginning of the year and it seemed once I hit my goal of being able to run 5K, I stopped. Not cool! When I got back from Vegas at the beginning of June and right before running the Dirty Donkey in August, I think I ran a total of 4 times. I was so nervous for the run and so mad at myself. I was worried I would not be able to complete it. Well, that was SOOO not the case! The run was AMAZING! Soooo much fun! I could have definitely trained better for it. Absolutely. But I was sooooo proud of myself for still pushing myself to do it and not only finishing it, but finishing it right in the middle of the pack! I finished in 489th place out of just over 900 competitors with a time of 1:02:37.  

All decked out and ready to roll!

My mom brought my Little Lady out to
watch me play in the mud!

Team Beaver Fever! 

So muddy! It was AWESOME! 

Stacey and me. HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!

End Result

Team Beaver Fever! 

A few other fun things happened over this summer that I would NOT have been able to do had I remained at 300lbs:

I was able to take my daughter to the fair and ride all the rides with her without fear of not being able to sit in the roller coaster car or that the safety bar wouldn't be able to lower all the way down because of my belly. We had a blast. I also bought her a trampoline this summer. The weight limit on it is 250lbs. So pumped that I'm below that weight and I'm able to jump with her in it. And not only jump with her, but be able to do so for a while without getting winded. We've had so much fun in it already! I'm so happy that I get to experience these things with her and not have to pass it along to someone else because I don't fit :)

Rylee and me sitting in the roller coaster
car waiting for the ride to start. 

I also went zip lining this summer for my friend Stacey's birthday. That too had a weight restriction of 250lbs and I did not have to worry at all about not making that restriction. Just another thing that I was able to do this year that I wasn't able to do in Jamaica a few years back because I was too heavy :)

This summer has been one of the best I have had in a VERY long time. I was able to do so many things that I haven't been able to do in a long time. And feel good doing it. I still have a lot of work to do as I still want to lose 50lbs to get to my goal weight of 172lbs. As I said earlier, I've been hovering over the 220lbs mark since April. Here's how my weight has played out:

May 7th - 224.5 lbs
May 14th - 223 lbs
May 21st - 220.4 lbs

June 4th - 222 lbs
June 11th - 224.6 lbs
June 18th - 220.8 lbs
June 25th - 221 lbs

July 2nd - 221.2 lbs
July 9th - 219.4 lbs (My first time EVER being below the 220 lb mark in over 10 years!)
July 16th - 220.6 lbs (Right back up there!)
July 23rd - 220.4 lbs
July 30th - 220.8 lbs

August 6th - 222.6 lbs
August 13th - 224.6 lbs
August 20th - 218.4lbs
August 27th - 220 lbs

September 3rd - 223.2 lbs
September 10th - 222.4 lbs
September 18th - 217.8 lbs
September 24th - 219.4 lbs

When it comes to exercise, although I've been doing boot camp, I feel that running had really helped to shape my body. Since I haven't been running, I can really notice a difference in my body shape. My belly is not nearly as tight as it was. I mean I still have/had a "gunt" but it was getting firmer, the area just above it was getting flatter and flatter but over the last couple of months, I've noticed that it seems to be getting softer again and I'm not happy about it. I know the ice cream doesn't/didn't help, but I really believe that the running I was doing was helping to tone this area. Not running consistently for the last 4 months along with eating crap foods has now finally started to show it's evil face. I am truly disappointed in myself for this and am determined to get back on it. A few girls from work have also found the summer to be really hard and they've asked me to start up another 30 day Challenge. It really is quite motivating and keeps you accountable. So, starting October 1st another 30 Day Challenge will commence and I'm super gung ho to get cracking and whipping this body back into some sort of shape! Here are some pics of me back in April at 220.2lbs, and now at 217.8lbs. You can really see a difference in the shape.

April 2013 - 220lbs

September 2013 - 218lbs

April 2013 - Nice rounded butt!!

September 2013 - Not so nice and rounded anymore!

April 2013 - Belly appears flatter than
the September picture

September 2013 - Belly's not so flat..... :(

Keeping in mind I am wearing different underwear in the September pictures (they sit lower on my belly) but still, I can see a big difference in my shape as opposed to 6 months ago where I was a few pounds heavier. It's time to kick it back up. I don't want to be that story where everyone talks about how Shannon lost all this weight and spent so much money on surgery, only to gain it all back. Nope, not gonna be me, I'm turning it around RIGHT now! I'm getting back on the running bandwagon and plan to run 3X a week and bootcamp/strength train 2X a week. Plus whatever sport I happen to be doing at the time (Volleyball starts tomorrow!!!). I've come too far to let it all slip away. I still have 50lbs to lose my friends! I have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start again. I have to shake it off and come up with a new plan which is to be at my goal weight of 172 lbs by the time I do the Mud Hero Run in July of 2014. That's 10 months away. That's 5lbs a month. It's just going to take a little more discipline and control.

I have a couple of really big life events happening over the next couple of months and I hope the stress of it all won't affect my motivation. I recently bought a house and I'm making a career change for 1 year to actually work at my dream job. All good things, but stressful nonetheless. I have to keep my eye on the prize and keep on trucking no matter what happens :)

A friend of mine from work sent me this picture the other day with the title reading "Hey, remember me?"

Oh yes. I do remember you 300 pound Shannon, but I never want to see you again!

This was me in Vegas :) 

Time for an Update!!

Hey yal!!! Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I kept meaning too but I needed a good 2 hours to sit in front of the computer and write and I just never have the time. But, here I am. I am writing to you today after finally acheiving my next big goal. I weighed in this morning and I am officially 220lbs. I haven't seen this weight in almost 11 years. It's the weight I was when I met my ex husband. I have been struggling over the last 4 months trying to get to this weight, I had numerous ups and downs but I'm finally here :) It seriously feels like a huge weight (literally) is now lifted off of me. I can officially start over from my 10 year relationship of gaining more and more weight until I was at my highest weight of 307lbs (315lbs at my ultimate highest, although I was pregnant). I am down a total of 72lbs from the day I started my pre-op diet in August, 2012. I am more than half way to my ultimate goal of 173lbs (47lbs to go) and only 21lbs away from being below the 200lb mark. Maples Surgical Centre set out a goal weight for me of 207lbs based on 60% of excess weight lost. I am only 13lbs away from that goal. I'm super pumped about this :)



307ish pounds

220 pounds

 

220 pounds

I do have to let you know about some of my struggles over the last month and a bit though. See, it has not been easy. I went through a few weeks where I was eating like crap and not really caring all that much. Why? I don't know. Especially over Easter with all the chocolate and treats. It felt like a free for all. Especially when I visit the cottage. It's like I'm on a permanent vacation when I'm there. I mean, if it was only once a year or something, fine. But we go every couple of weekends and my weight loss suffers. I snack on chips and chocolate and whatever other junk we keep stowed away there. And it's not good. It's really hard to say no. Band or no band, the temptation is always there and I have to still think about choosing wisely. Which can still be very difficult.

Also, I've been really, really enjoying partying these days while enjoying a beverage or 2, or 10. I've never really lived like this before, with this new found confidence and happiness, and I'm seriously having a blast. I know it won't last forever, but I'm enjoying myself right now. Things with my weight loss have slowed down, but there is still a progressive drop so I'm going to keep on keeping on and enjoying myself while I can :)

 

Like I said, over these last 4 months, I've only lost 16lbs. Now, I know I shouldn't be complaining about this, however when your used to losing 10-12lbs per month, this is a HUGE halt. But, I have been working out like crazy, running, bootcamp, etc so I know I am building muscle as well and as I already mentioned, the few weeks of slip ups and partying doesn't help to shed the weight any faster. But, things are still moving and my body fat is adjusting for sure. I went shopping last week for the first time EVER at Old Navy. I have NEVER been able to shop at Old Navy. Not only did I shop there, I fit into a size 16 there!! Not even their biggest size!! Which I'm totally excited about. At this point, I'm not overly concerned about the scale. I mean I am, because I want to get to that 173, but every day somebody new tells me how thin I'm looking and how great I look. And the fact that I went down another size in clothing tells me that things are moving and I am still shrinking, it just doesn't show it on the scale. I'm feeling great about me and have this confidence that I've never really had before. I've been feeling Fan-friggen-tastic in so many different ways and I LOVE IT!

I did complete my Couch to 5K program and can officially say that I can run 5K! Woo Hoo!! I am so proud of myself. I never thought I'd be able to do it. Honestly. I had my serious doubts. But I did it! I've up'd my speed of running from 4.5 to 4.7 with a goal of getting to 5.0 in the next few weeks. I am consistently running 2-3 times per week and have bootcamp twice a week and usually go for a walk or rest for the remaining days. I'm feeling stronger than I ever have and it's awesome. The weather here is finally starting to get nice (except for today) so I'm hoping to move my run training outdoors. I hear it is much, much harder to run outdoors so I need to get training on that so I can be prepared for the Dirty Donkey in August.

 I have been feeling lately that I can eat more than I should be able too so I think it may be time for a fill. Although, last week, I had numerous occasions where my food got stuck. I ate too fast and swallowed too big of pieces. This happened probably 5 times over a 2-3 day period. So I think the band was a little swollen as it was actually a little painful for a few days. It feels fine now, but I was a little concerned. This made me re-think getting a fill. However, I think it's time :)

I'm heading to Vegas in less than a month! I'm super stoked about this!! I'm not going to be near my orginal goal of being below 200lbs for this trip, but I'm ok with that. I'm feelin great and I can't wait!! It's going to be a blast. I'm thinking I probably won't write again until after the trip. When I'm detoxing ;)

Have a great month everyone!! I know I will!  

 

 

Wow!! Already 6 months Post Surgery.

Hey all!!! Well this past Monday marked 6 months since I had lap band surgery and I feel fan-friggen-tastic! Tuesday I weighed in at 224.4lbs. A total loss of 67.6lbs since I started this lapband journey. Wow. Here are some more current pics taken this past Sunday:




Start of Pre-op Diet, Aug 28, 2012

6 months post surgery, March 10, 2013

6 months post surgery, March 10, 2013

Start of Pre-op Diet, Aug 28, 2012



Start of Pre-op Diet, Aug 28, 2012

6 months Post Surgery, March 10, 2012

 

I had a physical this week and my doctor was really impressed and said I was doing awesome. I have been getting a lot of "Shannon, you look fantastic!" I respond with a HUGE smile and say "Thanks, I feel fantastic!" On Tuesday I had one of the biggest compliments I think I could get. I showed up with my sister to a baseball meeting and one of the other players asked my sister where I was and if I was playing this year. She responded by saying "she's right over there" and pointed to me. The girl said, "No, your other sister. She's not playing this year? And mine responsed with, "Yah, she is, she's right there". Again, the other girl said, "Don't you have another sister". My sister says "Nope, just one, and she's right there. She's just half the size!".  OMG! Best feeling ever!

Ok, some recent accomplishments that have happened over the last month or so:

- As I mentioned, I had a physical this week. Well, every year, that little paper apron they give you seemed to be getting smaller and smaller and I could never get it around my body. Well, this year, I got it all the way around my body :)

- I'm fitting in chairs I never would have before. I would always question each chair I would sit in and be afraid I'd break it or feel ridiculously uncomfortable. Especially the ones with arms. Well, twice I've gone out and been able to fit perfectly fine in them. I still have a mini panic attack when I first see them and think, omg, am I going to fit. And sure enough. I do. No problem and I smile the biggest smile on the inside.

- I am now fitting into size 16 pant/jeans. Everything I bought just a month ago, is already loose. I am going to see about taking them to a tailor to see if they can take them in for me instead of buying all new pants. I did buy a belt in the mean time to keep my pants up. Also, I went to addition elle because I had a coupon. I had no idea what size I would be there. I grabbed a few shirts and I am now fitting into an X. The smallest size addition elle carries!!! WOOT WOOT! I used to wear a 3X.

 - I have now officially grown out of my old bathing suit. I had held onto an old one for years in hopes that I would get back into it as I only wore it for 1 summer. It's a size 16. It is now my sole bathing suit and fits me perfectly.

- I went snow tubing with Rylee and my sister. The hill was very high, much higher than the one I took Rylee too earlier this year. They had a tow rope, which we used most of the time. But twice, we walked up that hill. No problem for me the first time. Second time, Rylee had me pull her up in the tube. I did it, but was so poop'd by the end! Again, thank goodness for bootcamp!

- I have continued with my run training and I'm now on week 8. The final week. Yesterday I accomplished a run that I never thought I could ever do. I ran consistently for 25 minutes. By the end of the next week, I should be able to run 5km. I can already do 3km. OMG. For real?! Me?! So proud of myself.

I have been going to morning bootcamp consistently as well. I'm really enjoying my routine now. I run Monday, Wednesday, Friday and bootcamp Tuesday and Thursday. Bootcamp is really helping with the strength training. It's amazing. I can bicep curl 25lbs on each arm!

I had a band fill last week as I was feeling like I could eat just a little too much at one sitting. When I discussed with my nurse how I was feeling, she agreed that it was time for a fill. She was super impressed and happy with my success so far. So, I was filled last Tuesday and over about 3 days I transitioned through liquids, pureed, soft and regular foods. Right now, I think my band is at the perfect size. I am not getting any heartburn or pain. I am able to eat everything again, but am limited as I get full fast. Which is exactly what it's supposed to do. Yay! Success!

I can feel myself having more and more confidence as the days, weeks pass. I am so looking forward to this summer, to baseball season, to my trip to Vegas. It's a whole new life in so many ways. I have zero regrets at this point in regards to everything that has happened in the last year. Even though I suffered through some intense emotional pain in regards to my marriage failing, I have learned that it was the best thing for me. I would have never been able to do this surgery and change my lifestyle had that not happened. I am so greatful. Don't get me wrong, I still get sad sometimes and think about what happened and why it happened. But those days are so few and far between and I just think about all that I have accomplished in such a short period of time. And all that's to come in my life and I smile about it.

One of my favorite inspirational quotes that got me through the last year is "Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place". That along with "Do more of what makes you happy". These 2 combined make for killer motivation to keep me pushing for what I want. There's no stopping me now. :)

Update Fail!!

Sorry peeps! Total fail on the updating the blog every couple of weeks!! But, here we go. This month has been a whirlwind with ups and downs. Mostly ups. And the downs were more frustration.

Over the last 30 day I've participated in another 30 day challenge. This ended this past Tuesday. I exercised 26 out of 30 days (2 of which I was injured for, boo!). So proud of myself. Having to email all your friends the next day saying what you did or didn't do really makes you accountable and makes you WANT to exercise! It's really been a great motivational support tool. We got a new bootcamp instructor for this round and she is tough. Works us hard but it's awesome. Last bootcamp was Thursday and I am STILL having trouble walking down the stairs! haha! I have continued with my run training and it's going really well. My last session consisted of a 5 min walk warm up, a 5 min run, a 3 min walk, a 6 min run, a 3 min walk, a 5 min run, and a 5 min cool down walk. I have NEVER been able to run for 5 and 6 min in a row before. The feeling was incredible. During the 6 min run, I actually got to a point where I felt like I could keep going. But, because I'm following the Couch to 5K program, I didn't. I want to follow the program properly. Today is an 8 min run. I'm kind of nervous yet super excited to see if I can do it.

During this month, as you can see, I increased my exercise significantly. I was super pumped to see what the scale was going to say. But, it was not my friend. My first weigh in after consistently working out had me lose 2 lbs, which was good. I figured the next week would be the same or more because of the increased exercise. But nope. Only lost 1lb. So frustrated. The next week, no loss. I could have cried. I didn't understand. I know people hit plateaus all the time, but it has never happened to me before. And I didn't get it because I had increased my exercise, still ate right, and THEN I hit a plateau. So I talked to numerous people and researched a bit but no matter what I heard or read, I was still super frustrated. However, over the last couple of weeks, I've had an increase in compliments and people saying how it looks like I've dropped weight overnight and I also went down another size in pants to an 18 (and they are even too baggy!) so I knew I was losing inches. But still, that stupid scale didn't budge. Then, finally, success. This past Tuesday I weighed in with a loss of 3.6lbs. This not only broked my plateau, it brought me into the 220's. I sit here, writing this blog (finally!) weighing in at 229lbs, a loss of 63lbs since August 28th. So pumped. I'm only 9lbs away from my next goal of 220.

I can FINALLY upload pics. But, these ones were taken a month ago. I'm going to have to take some more and update again. But, here is last months pics.





Pre-op

4 month post op

Pre-op

4 months post op

Now, onto all the real good stuff! First of all. We had a really nice winter night here back a couple weeks ago. I decided to take my daughter toboganning. One of my many goals and reasons for doing this surgery was to be able to do that with her and not get winded so easily and WANT to go up and down the hill more than once. Well, I did it! We only went twice cuz SHE was done! And, the first time we went up the hill, I actually was pulling her on the sled all the way up. (Thank goodness for bootcamp making me stronger!) The second time up, I had to kick her off! haha. But we had a blast and I can't wait for some warm weather again to take her.

I have so much energy now to be able to play and do things with my daughter and I love it. Don't get me wrong, I still get tired out and have to tell her to chill sometimes (she's crazy! LOL!) but I can keep up with her for the most part. I WANT to play with her and wrestle and sit cross legged on the floor for a half hour playing dressup :) We went to an indoor water park a couple weekends ago and we went up and down the waterslide at least 5 times. I didn't hesitate once when she said "AGAIN" at the end of the slide. We trekked up those stairs like champs. No way I would've been so willing to do it 63lbs ago. Oh, and something really funny. SHE found my collarbone the other day. I haven't seen it in years and I've been noticing it myself over the last little while. The other day I was carrying her and she started grabbing onto it and playing with it. I just smiled. No, I beamed with excitement. It's these little things that I notice that make me really appreciate what's happening to me :)

Second big accomplishment this month has been shopping. My sister and I went shopping back a few weeks ago and I was able to get jeans and a couple shirts at Warehouse One. I haven't been able to shop at Warehouse One in YEARS! I was ecstatic. And, I was fitting an 18. I am finally below the 20's. OMG. Such a good feeling. Then, last weekend, we went out again to find a shirt for her. Only I started trying on things too, AT THE MALL!! I was able to shop and buy a whole outfit at the mall without stepping foot into Penningtons or Addition Elle. Again, OMG! I left the mall in disbelief of what just happened. This could get expensive!

I CAN SIT WITH MY LEGS CROSSED!! hahaha! An accomplishment that most people don't even think about. But, I can do it now. I can sit like a lady :)

And of course, the compliments. Still getting used to all of them, and not really knowing what to say or how to respond. But they feel great. I have numerous people actually tell me that I look like a completely different person. Of course my response is always, "good different?" One person actually called me svelte.

SVELTE:

Adjective (of a person) Slender and elegant.

Synonyms slender - slim - willowy - jimp

Wow....me? Svelte? This month has been incredible. I've gone out socially a few times and have had a blast. So much more confidence in myself, so much more outgoing. I've always been outgoing, I'm just more outgoing now ;) I feel like I'm 19 again! Just having a good time, living life. It's been awesome.

Happy New Year! And What a Year it Will Be!!

Happy New Year everyone! I am so pumped for this year I can't even control myself! Haha! So many good things to come in 2013 :) I rang in the new year quietly at the cottage with my daughter, my mom, my dad, and my uncle. It was nice. I kind of had some second thoughts and wondered if maybe I should have made some plans to celebrate the New Year with a party, but nah. I enjoyed my evening playing games and just chilling. I hadn't gotten on the scale since before Christmas, and New Years day fell on my normal weigh in day, but I was at the cottage again. I did however weigh myself at home the next day and it put me at 237.8lbs. Since it wasn't my regular weigh in day, I didn't actually record it (I use My Fitness Pal to record all my weigh ins and track my food, and my exercise). I was actually ok with that slight gain of 0.8lbs over the holidays. Not too shabby! I must admit though, I got really, really sick on the 27th. So sick. I woke up from a dead sleep at 4am with the urge to vomit and continued that feeling for 4 hours. It was not pleasant. I don't know if this had anything to do with the band or not, but trying to vomit was really hard. I dry heaved so much that my ribs were sore the next day. I spent the entire day sleeping (I think I was awake for a total of 3 hrs on the 27th) and feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I may have to give credit to this illness for allowing me to maintain my weight over the holidays! Owell, whatever works! LOL! But in all seriousness, I was actually a little bit worried. This was the first time I have had to throw up since having the band put in. I know my Nurse had told me that you can do damage to the band and it can slip with vomitting, but this will usually occur when someone makes it a habit (apparently some people will actually use the band as bulemic tool). However, I was still kind of nervous as my stomach took a beating with the amount of force in which I was dry heaving. The area where my port is located was physically sore. It was actually sore like a bruise when I touched it. It slowly got better though and I think that I irritated the area around the port and the band itself and it  was most likely swollen as I didn't have much of an appetite or room for food for a few days. It has all since subsided though and I'm back to normal now :) Thank goodness!

This passed Saturday I decided to cheat and check out the scale. I weighed in like I normally do (naked, first thing in the morning) and it read 233.4lbs. I was pumped! But, as it wasn't my normal weigh in day again I couldn't actually record it :(  haha! But, that day and Sunday, I was a bottomless pit. I felt like I needed to eat everything and anything but that nothing was satisfying me. Oh and the craving for chocolate. Oh, it was ridiculous. And then it clicked...ahhhh, it must be about that time of the month. Dammit! To me that meant the scale would not be nice on my actual weigh in day. And here I was so pumped about the 233.4 number but it was just a tease. I still had a little bit of faith though that it would be close.....and that brings me to today. This morning, my regular weigh in day, I climbed on the scale and it read.....236.4lbs. Still a loss, but not the loss I was hoping for. I literally got on and off the scale 3 times just to be sure. I was a little bit down for about 20 seconds, staring at the scale. But I talked myself out of the slight disappointment by convincing myself that it was my god damn period. Geez! I hate being a woman! LOL! All in all, I'm having some fantastic success!

I started another 30 day Challenge with some friends and family. The goal is to get in at least 10-20 minutes of exercise daily for 30 days. We switched up the rules a bit and everyone will pay an "entry" fee and for every day that you exercise, you get a ballot. That ballot will go into a draw and at the end of the challenge, we will draw a name and the winner will get a Nike Fuel band that we will have purchased with the money people paid to enter the Challenge! Pretty neat idea I think. I have 15 people in it now I think and one more pending. I've completed 2 of 2 days! Yay me! I am attempting to teach myself to run. Oh geez! I HATE running. Almost as much as I hate being a woman! LOL! Totally kidding, I love being a woman ;) The purpose of training myself to run is a few things actually.

1 - I know running burns a TON of fat. I want to kick this weight loss into high gear and attempt to get to my goal (or close to it) by May.

2 - I would love to do a triathalon. I have a few friends that have done them and have been pushing me to try one. I have no interest in straight up running for hours and hours, but the thought of doing some running, some biking and some swimming (which I LOVE) really intrigues me.

3 - THE DIRTY DONKEY MUD RUN!!! I first heard about this last year and it was very interesting to me. If you don't know what it is, it's 5K (I believe) made up of various obstacles in the mud. You run as a team and it's not about where you place, it's about challenging your body to complete it. Like I said, you run as a team and you help each other through the course and completing the obstacles together. Me and a few friends have all decided to try and do it this year. I am so PUMPED! This is something that is totally up my alley. Like I said, I could care less about running for hours and hours, alone. But this, now this would be fun and challenging. I've always been more of a team player than an individual and what better way to accomplish something! So, I NEED to train myself to run. They say you can walk it, but I want to try and be in the best shape I can be to not let my team down and have to carry me the whole way. The race is in August, but training starts in April. I want to be able to run by April, at least 3km.

So, my exercise regime over the next little while will be: Mon, Wed, Fri - running/walking the treadmill. Tues, Thurs - bootcamp. Sat - Not really sure yet. Dog walks, maybe the stationary bike. Whatever I feel like doing to complete my challenge. Sun - Volleyball. We shall see how it goes!

I took some pics today and was going to post them however, I'm having some trouble uploading them. So, that will have to wait. The minute I get it to work I will upload them. I am going to try to do a better job of updating this blog. At least weekly. Ok, if not weekly, at least every 2 weeks! haha! Have a good one everyone!



  

Merry Christmas to All!!!

Whoa, it's been quite some time since I've written. Over 4 weeks I think. Sorry guys, the Christmas season was upon us and I was incredbily busy. Lots to write about that's for sure! Let's start back at the beginning. I weighed in on December 4th at 242lbs, a loss of 3 pounds from the previous week. Sweet ass!! As the week went on, I wasn't eating very well as all the chocolates and treats started to immerge at work. I am a total choco-holic and it's very hard for me to say no. Sooner or later, I am saying yes to every piece of chocolate and not being hungry for my real food. Band or no band, Christmas is a very hard season to get through. I made some pretty bad choices, starting with that week and carrying on until today. Not cool. I kinda can't wait for the holidays to be over and to get back to some normalcy when it comes to my diet! On another note, my daughter's 3rd birthday party was on the 8th. My ex husband and I decided to have a joint party. It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be (mostly because he didn't bring his new girlfriend to the party, thank goodness!). I got nothing but compliments from his family and friends and it did wonders for my ego and helped me get through the party.

During this week, a friend of mine forwarded me an email about a 30 day challenge of exericise that a mutual friend of ours and her family/friends were starting. The goal was to do a minimum of 10 minutes of exercise every day for 30 days. You got 1 day off, and that was Christmas day. If you missed a day, you had/have to donate $5 to a chairty of your choice. Emails fly every day with all the participants saying whether or not they completed the day and what exercise they did. I went strong for almost 2 weeks and then I missed a day. I think to this day, I am owing about $35, so 7 days missed, I think. Not bad all things considered! That's awesome for me! Some days I would be doing my exercise at 11:30 at night! But I did it! I'm thinking of starting another one with some girls from work for January. Everyone is always gung-ho for exercise and better health at the start of a new year!  

Tuesday December 11th. I weighed in at 243.6lbs. A friggen gain of 1.6lbs! WTF?! OMG! This was my first gain since the start of my journey. And it DID NOT feel good. I tried to tell myself that it was probably my period again (as I had started the day before) but I knew it also had to do with the crappy way I was eating the past week too. It sucked. During this week, I actually went in and saw my Lapband nurse and had some fluid removed from my band. I was getting heartburn every single day, numerous times a day and I knew that wasn't normal. After a discussion with my nurse, we both decided that it would be a good idea to remove some. She took out 0.5mls and although I still get heartburn sometimes, it's definitely not every day like it was and I know it's when I over eat (as one does throughout the holiday season). I weighed in there and was 243lbs on her scale as well. When I told her I had actually put on 1.6lbs over the last week, she reassured me that when it comes to "that time of the month", your weight can fluctuate up to 7lbs with water weight, etc. That made me feel a bit better about the weight gain. Again, she told me I was "kicking at this" and it made me feel really good. My goal is to be one of their success stories and be one of the poeple that gets up and talks at their seminars :) Now THAT would be cool!

On the Saturday of this week, I worked at my dad's work Christmas party. Now, I have some family and friends that work with my dad and they were all there. Some of which haven't seen me in a quite some time. Again, I got tons of compliments and again it did wonders for my ego and made me feel really good. I even had one guy call me hot! Whoa! Me?! Sweeeeet! The confidence in myself and my self esteem is definitely building. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. Honestly. When people are complimenting me, I sometimes really don't know what to say. "Thanks, I'm trying" is usually my response.

Tuesday December 18th. I step on the scale hoping I shed the 1.6lbs I gained the previous week. To my pleasant surpise, the scale reads 237lbs. WTF?! OMG! Pretty much the same reaction I had when I saw the gain the week before. I'm thinking, holy shit, if this is accurate, I lost 6.6lbs this week! I got on the scale 2 more times just to be sure. Annnnd yup! 237lbs was my weight! A loss of 55lbs since August 28th. I was ecstatic. Not only did I lose a HUGE chunk of weight, I have now broken into the 230's! I think I beamed the entire day :)

However, this week also put us much closer to Christmas and so many more chocolates and treats reared their tasty little heads. I told myself that I would indulge but be careful. I didn't want to slide back and gain again. I continued with the 30 day challenge (although like I said, I bailed on a few workouts) and hoped that it would help me maintain my weight or if I were to gain again, it would be minimal. I was preparing myself for a gain with all the food that I would be eating during the holidays.

Christmas eve was spent at my cousin's with my dad's side of the family. There were about 25 of us enjoying Christmas dinner and playing Christmas games, our regular Christmas tradition. I had to leave about 7:30 to go pick up my daughter as she spent the evening with my ex and his side of the family. I got there and decided to go in as I had gifts for my nieces (they will always be my nieces). I knew my ex's girlfriend would be there and I decided to brave it and go in. I really wanted to see the family as this was my first Christmas in 10 years that I wasn't spending with them. I really wanted to wish them all a Merry Christmas and give them all hugs. Plus, I'm not going to lie, I really wanted to go in and show myself off. And boy or boy, nothing but compliments again. I had one person not even recognise me. Now that was sweet :) The whole time I was in there, I was shaking like a leaf, trying not to leap over and punch my "replacement" in the teeth. One of my ex's Aunt's went over and helped me out by chatting her up the whole time I was there so I didn't even have to look at her. I thanked her for that afterward. It really did help me to try and focus on everyone else. My nieces's opened up their gifts and I packed up my daughter and headed back to my family's party. I felt sad, relieved, strong, and confident. Although it was one of the toughest things I've done, I'm glad I went in.

After my family's party in the city, we headed out to the cottage (at 11pm at night) to wake up there on Christmas morning. It was a long day/night but waking up to the peaceful serenity that is the cottage was so worth it. We, and when I say we, it was me, my daughter, my sister, my mom, my dad, and my uncle - who came in from BC that we haven't seen in 20 years. We opened presents in the living room with the wood stove blazing and deer crossing through the yard. It was beautiful. My daughter is finally old enough to really enjoy opening presents and understanding Santa and Christmas traditions. It was so fun watching her open all her gifts. She really helped to take my mind off of the fact that although I was around my family, having a great time, it was my first Christmas without my ex. Towards the evening, I really started to feel the sadness. My sister had already left and I usually talk to her about these feelings. So I texted her, as well as a few other friends that I trust and that I know will help me get through the sadness. My sister was at work and was the first to respond and she always has a way of wording things to make me feel better. And, like a good sister, she did. :)

I have been so full over the last 3 days, more full than I've been in the last 4 months. I defintely took WAY less than I normally would have but clearly still took to much. Again, like I said, I can't wait for the holidays to be over and to get back to some normalcy and get this weight loss kicked into high gear! Vegas is calling and I think I can be very close to my goal of 173lbs by then. That would be awesome.

Christmas day should have began with a weigh in but as I was at the cottage, it did not. So, I will try to remember to weigh myself tomorrow morning. I'm not going to dwell too much on it if I have a gain. I allowed myself to go a little crazy. But, I will get back on track and continue to "kick at this" as my nurse says :)

Oh, I will post more pics soon too! Hope you all had a great Christmas!

Down to 245lbs, 25lbs to my next goal. It's so close.

Well, it's been a couple weeks. Last week Tuesday I weighed in and only lost 1lb. It seems as though that is my pattern. It was my "monthly gift" week and for the last 2 months, I seem to only lose 1lb during that week. Which, I shouldn't really complain. It's still a loss. But when you are used to seeing a 3-4lbs loss on the scale, 1 just seems so small. During that week, I also didn't eat as well. And it's very evident to me. But, I am happy that it tends to only be that one week and I get right back on track, like I have this week. This passed Tuesday I was down 2 more pounds bringing me to a weight of 245lbs. FANTASTIC! I'm so pumped. I use My Fitness Pal to log in my calories and exercise, etc. When I updated my weight to say 245lbs, it told me I had lost 70lbs total. OMG! 70lbs! That's the size of a child, a large child! Keep in mind, that's 70lbs since I was at my heaviest weight of 315lbs, pregnant with my daughter. Which was exactly 3 years ago. Wow. As for loss from when I started this journey, I'm down a total of 47lbs since August 28th.

This current weight also puts me closer to my next goal of 220lbs. The weight I was when I met my ex-husband 10 years ago. I am already feeling so much better about myself physically and emotionally in regards to my weight and I'm finally feeling like I'm in a good place emotionally in regards to my split from my ex. I truly feel that once I hit that 220lb mark, I will really feel like I can start over. Like those passed 10 years of being unhappy with myself and my body can be wiped away. I'm only 25lbs away. So close it's ridiculous.

A couple of things I've noticed about myself over the last few weeks that I want to document. They are such little victories but victories that help me realize how far I've come. I may have mentioned this one before, but I am now able to sit cross legged. Which I was not able to do at my heaviest. I am also able to sit cross legged without having to lean against a wall for support. Which I had to do when I started losing weight after I had my daughter. And finally, I can now sit cross legged without my legs immediately falling asleep. I love it.

Next, is something that I think a lot of people take for granted, and that's the ability to clip your toenails. haha. Sounds so simple. Yet when you have a huge belly in your way, it becomes incredibly difficult. Don't get me wrong, I still have the belly, but it's not nearly as big anymore and I can actually clip my toenails without struggling.

I've also noticed that I don't sweat nearly as much anymore doing the simpliest things. I've always been a sweater, so is my dad, it's in my genes. But, I'd always use it as an excuse. So what if I sweat walking up the stairs or playing with my daughter or my dogs, or doing dishes, or cooking or folding laundry, I'm a sweater, it's just me. But, over these last few weeks, I've really noticed how little I sweat now (little for me is probably still a lot for "normal" people! haha) and it's so much nicer. I used to avoid wearing my glasses because they would fog up all the time when I sweat. Well, I got new glasses and I can show them off a lot more now because I don't sweat nearly as much!

We have some chairs at the cottage that my butt did not fit into in the summer. It would actually hurt for me to sit in them because the metal arm rest would push on my hips. Well, I went to the cottage this passed weekend and voila! I fit in the chair without a problem! It felt awesome not having the bruises from the chair!

I work in a lab so I am always wearing gloves. I never thought you could lose weight in your hands...but you can! I am now a small size glove! WHAT?! Yup! The mediums are too loose and I've had to switch! I also lost weight in my feet. I can tell because the dressy shoes I wore last year, that would cut off the circulation in my feet and my feet would ache for days after, fit perfectly now. I can dance in them for hours and my feet don't hurt at all. :)

At bootcamp yesterday morning, my instructor asked me to try doing my walking lunges as low as possible. To try and get my knee as close to the ground as possible. I could barely even bend my legs before and yesterday, my knee literally tapped the ground with each lunge. It felt awesome. It was friggen hard as heck, but I did it. And I'm paying for it today :)

My parents are taking my sister and I to Vegas at the end of May next year. I am so excited for this I have no words. My girlfriend gave me a bunch of clothes that she no longer wanted, size XL. I'm so pumped and motivated to fit into these clothes for this trip. I have 6 months, I know I will get there.

I've been looking at myself  in the mirror a lot. I know a lot of people have a hard time when they lose weight not seeing the fat person they were all the time. I still see the fat person, but I'm not completely disgusted with my reflection anymore. I can see that the fat person is getting smaller, getting happier, and feeling so much better about herself. And it feels great.