It's been a few days......

Well, quite a few days have passed. Lotsa news. Well, one real big event. Came home from the cottage on Monday (left Rylee there with mom and dad) and found out that my ex has a girlfriend. I was devastated. I mean I know he has every right to date....I just didnt expect it to be so soon. I wanted it first. It also hurt me that it was with someone that I thought he was trying to get with already, that he denied. Just made me realize how long he was actually outta love with me for :(

Monday night was really, really tough. I thought of the fridge and food quite often. I was texting and emailing and phoning everyone I could think of that would support me and keep me from the fridge. I did realize that I wasn't actually hungry that I was just thinking about it cuz thats how I normally cope with stress...but not being able to do that made me deal with the emotions right there. It sucked.

Tuesday at work also sucked. I was a zombie. From not sleeping cuz of thinking of him and his new girlfriend (seriously, who gets into a relationship with someone so fresh out of a separation?). By Tuesday evening though, I  came to the realization that he is not the same man I married at all. Not the same man I fell in love with and he didn't love me for a long long time. So now, he is just Rylee's dad.

Going thru this though during my boost diet was so tough. So so tough. But I did it. Yesterday I was asked to play ball and spare on a team. I jumped at the opportunity and had a fantastic time. It's just what I needed to get outta the slump of thinking of my ex. Playing sports and laughing! It's who I am! So I've now realized a way to cope with my stress that really does help....sports and the comfort of friends and family (we discovered this in therapy today). No more eating my feelings away!

Now, back to my pre-op diet. Weighed myself tuesday morning, naked and I was 285lbs, for a loss of 7lbs.  Weighed myself this morning and I was 283 for a loss of 9lbs. Not gonna hit that 25lbs loss mark, but I'm happy I'm going down. Every number I see, I just keep thinkin...that is the last time I will see that number on the scale again. When I played ball on Thursday, my jersey fit just a little better! Yeah!

So that's it for today....it's been a crazy week that's for sure. I am so exhausted from lack of sleep I really need to go to bed. Only 3 more days of boost and 4 till surgery! Ahhhh! Nite nite!